I ‘recently’ hosted a show at AM 630 K-Talk (KTKK-AM in the Salt Lake City, UT area). By ‘recently’ I mean a two hour program on April 1, but better late than never, right?

If you’re interesting in listening, feel free to download them below.

KTKK-AM 1 Apr 2010 Hour 1, KTKK-AM 1 Apr 2010 Hour 2.

Seen on a convenience store sign: Get Ice Cold Ice Here. Really. Ice Cold Ice, huh? That’s pretty novel, people.

My voice mail provider is Google Voice, a free service with multiple awesome features. One of the awesome features is that it will send you text messages and / or emails informing you of new messages, and optionally include a transcription of the voice message. Sometimes the sound quality isn’t quite up to snuff, and the transcription engine gets things a little wrong. Or more than a little. The transcription of the above quoted message was:

See you on a convenience store so. Alright get. I just called He’s here billy. I just called. I saw that’s pretty novel people. Bye.

I’m used to the transcriptions not being 100% accurate, but there is usually enough right for me to get the gist of the message without listening. Not this time. If someone else had left the message, anyway.

Maybe this speaks more to some speech impediment I have than to defects in Google Voice. I’ll let you decide: google-voice-message-20100429-0932.

Regardless, I really do like the service and wouldn’t give it up, I just found the transcript amusing in how bad it was in this case.

Today I received an email from my son’s school district informing me of some classes being provided by the Davis School District Parent Information Resource Center. Through the spring and summer, nine different classes will be provided for men, women and children. All of the classes are free, unless, of course, you are over the age of 17 years and have XY chromosomes.

That’s right, the two classes that are for men (“Tools To Effective Fathering” and “Anger Management”) cost money. In the case of “Tools To Effective Fathering,” I can maybe see why they charge for that one. There aren’t corresponding “Tools To Effective Mothering” or “Tools To Effective Childing” classes, so maybe that one is different enough that they have to charge for it. That being said, men are such idiots and poor at parenting (according to some parts of society, anyway) that you’d think they’d want to make that class free so that we poor men could be less lousy parents.

Regardless, the one that really gets me is “Anger Management”. There are four classes with that title. Two are for children of various ages, one is for women, and the other for men. The ones for women and children are listed as “No Charge”. The one for men is listed as “Call for details”! WHY?!? Are the classes being taught at a singles bar?

I can understand why children wouldn’t be charged, as it is a school district thing and the education of children is already being paid for by our tax dollars. But why would women get a free pass on the anger management class when men have to pay? Are women anger free? That can’t be the case since they have an anger management class. Or maybe their class is to teach them how to manage the anger of the men they know.

If that isn’t frustrating enough, what really ticks me off is that they school district would be affiliated with providing these classes at all after this last legislative session. The Davis district may not be hurting as bad as some of the other school districts in Utah after the spending cuts, but they are making changes due to the decreased budgets they are facing. And yet they have money to provide and/or support free optional classes to the community? Maybe they should be more focused on their charge to educate the children of the district and less concerned with extraneous classes, no matter how well intentioned they might be.

If you’d like to see it, here is a link to the copy I received via email: DSD PIRC Spring & Summer Class Schedule 2010.

*The answer is that women are slow and hard to teach, so it takes more effort, thus it costs more.**
**JUST KIDDING!

People have different perceptions of what is or is not constitutional. Some people believe that the Constitution explicitly lists everything the federal government is authorized to do, and thus if it is not listed (health insurance legislation, a census that asks for more than a count of people living at an address) then it is not constitutional. Others embrace a broader interpretation, using things like the “promote the general welfare” text from the preamble as justification for federal government involvement in these areas.

In my opinion, the best claims of unconstitutionality are related to the absence of any explicit reference to health insurance in the Constitution (or subsequent amendments) and the ninth and tenth amendments.

Ninth amendment: “The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.” Thus a right to choose for yourself or your family health insurance would seem to me to belong to the people, not the government. In fact, if the Massachusetts plan requires all to have insurance as I’ve heard recently, I don’t know why this amendment couldn’t be used to rule it unconstitutional. There is quite a big step from regulating business for the common good and requiring private citizens to purchase a product (even one as intangible as insurance).

Tenth amendment: “The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people.” The history of health insurance in this country is that it is regulated by state governments, not the federal government. I believe that provides at least a de facto basis for a claim that health insurance regulation is not a power of the federal government. Note: The Supreme Court rarely if ever uses this amendment to rule anything unconstitutional, so I’m not holding my breath.

Regarding the preamble text: two phrases appear immediately next to each other. One is “provide for the common defence”, and the other is “promote the general welfare”. I have always found it interesting (in the context of those who would use the “promote the general welfare” phrase to justify something like health insurance reform by the federal government) that the Constitution says to *provide* *for* defense but to *promote* *general* welfare. The most appropriate definition I found for “provide” would be “take measures in preparation for”. “Promote” is most appropriately defined as “to advocate or urge on behalf of something or someone”. If the federal government was meant to provide things necessary for the general welfare of the people of the United States, why wouldn’t the Constitution say so? It had no problem using the word “provide” in the context of defense. Thus I believe the choice of “promote” in the context of welfare to be a deliberate effort to differentiate the concepts.

Finally, requiring all people to buy health insurance doesn’t seem to be an effective way to secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves or our posterity. Though I guess an argument could be made that it liberates us from crushing expense due to health care costs, but that just doesn’t feel to me to be the type of liberty they were aiming for.

Ultimately, there are exactly nine people that will have a say into whether or not this legislation is constitutional. In the meantime we all get to rant about how evil it is or how much of a blessing it is or sit back and watch all the wacky people on both sides. :)

One of the best explanations of how Obama won the election.

From a teacher in the Nashville area.

We are worried about ‘The Cow’ when it is all about ‘The Ice Cream.’

The most eye-opening civics lesson I ever had was while teaching third grade this year.

The presidential election was heating up and some of the children showed an interest.

I decided we would have an election for a class president.

We would choose our nominees. They would make a campaign speech and the class would vote.

To simplify the process, candidates were nominated by other class members.

We discussed what kinds of characteristics these students should have.

We got many nominations and from those, Jamie and Olivia were picked to run for the top spot.

The class had done a great job in their selections. Both candidates were good kids.

I thought Jamie might have an advantage because he received lots of parental support.

I had never seen Olivia’s mother.

The day arrived when they were to make their speeches.

Jamie went first.

He had specific ideas about how to make our class a better place. He ended by promising to do his very best.

Everyone applauded and he sat down.

Now it was Olivia’s turn to speak.

Her speech was concise.

She said, “If you will vote for me, I will give you ice cream.”

She sat down.

The class went wild. “Yes! Yes! We want ice cream.”

She surely would say more. She did not have to.

A discussion followed. How did she plan to pay for the ice cream?

She wasn’t sure.

Would her parents buy it or would the class pay for it?

She didn’t know.

The class really didn’t care. All they were thinking about was ice cream..

Jamie was forgotten. Olivia won by a landslide.

Every time Barack Obama opened his mouth he offered ice cream and 52 percent of the people reacted like nine year olds.

They want ice cream.

The other 48 percent know they’re going to have to feed the cow and clean up the mess.

This is the ice cream Obama promised us!

Remember, the government cannot give anything to anyone that they have not first taken from someone else.

A very *very* senior friendly establishment, it would appear.

I was looking forward to having lunch there sometime until someone pointed out that sign. Now I know if I’m going to go there for lunch, I’ve gotta get outta there by 1 pm no matter what!

The kids will read some number of minutes each day starting today through March 10. There are several ways to pledge:

1. You can pledge by the minute. I’d estimate he would read somewhere between 200 and 400 minutes over the 10 day period, so that’d be good for $2 to $4 dollars at a penny per minute. Or you can pledge a dollar a minute, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind. :) Or something in the middle.

2. You can pledge just a flat amount and I’ll figure out what the per minute rate was when we return the paperwork by March 15.

3. You can completely ignore this email! By far the simplest solution.

I know in the past when I’ve been approached about buying stuff from students for fundraising, I balk because of the relatively small return the school sees. In this case, you will be assured that 100% of the money raised goes to the kids. That’s why *I* like it. There is a downside, of course: there will be no cookie dough or other goodies to enjoy later. To resolve this, I’d recommend you buy something you really like at the store, donate a similar amount to the school, and feel good knowing you’ve saved probably 50% of the cost that you would have paid in a school fundraiser *plus* given the school more money than they would have seen from their paltry commissions.

Thank you for reading this note. We now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.

The Man Rules

We always hear about “the rules” from the female perspective. This list provides insight from the male point of view!

Please note: These are all numbered 1 on purpose!

1. Men are not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl now. If it’s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes & no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something, or you can tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.

1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as football or hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight. Did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can to give them a laugh.

Pass this to as many women as you can to give them a bigger laugh.

In any case, my friend Jim Sumpter (host of a nationally syndicated radio show) asked me to come on the air for a few minutes on December 9 to talk about the case (not as an expert, but as a person in the area that had been listening to news and talk radio reports on the subject).

If you’re interested in listening, you can access the file via the link below. Note: This is not an example of my best radio work ever, but it is also not my worst (if you can believe that after listening). :)

JSS-2009-12-09-segment-with-SDR.

• Foam Missile Launcher with USB interface plus two extra packs of missiles. USB may not be quite as cool as Bluetooth (according to The Big Bang Theory), but it’s pretty cool!
• A belt clip case for my cell phone.
• Volumes 1 & 2 of the James Bond Blu-ray collection (includes 6 movies, but not in order of theatrical release; weird).
  • Die Another Day
  • Dr. No
  • Live and Let Die
  • For Your Eyes Only
  • From Russia with Love
  • Thunderball
• Star Trek Blu-ray 3 disc special edition (includes bonus digital copy, on top of the already digital Blu-ray copy; seems mildly redundant).
• A four port USB travel hub.
• A jar of Baconnaise (bacon flavored mayonnaise).
• A tube of Bacon Balm (bacon flavored lip balm).
  • You do realize that bacon is meat candy, right? Right.
• The board game Risk. It appears to be a newer edition with slightly different layout and possibly different rules.
• An 8 GB memory card (microSDHC) for my cell phone, along with a USB adapter for it. Now I have 7.5 GB free instead of a mere 3.5 GB free. Though I will be filling it as quickly as possible so as to justify the need for a 16 or 32 GB card.
• Season one of Chuck on Blu-ray!
• Season two of Chuck on Blu-ray! Scheduled for delivery on or about January 5th. Just in time for the premiere of season three on January 10th!